Saturday, May 7, 2016

Happy Mother's Day!

Happy Mother's Day to the woman who I text first thing in the morning while sipping my cold coffee to vent to about the night before.  The woman who texts me back something funny, because she knows more than anything I need a good laugh.  She offers to meet for coffee or lunch as soon as we are both available with or without kids in tow because no one understands broken interrupted conversations more than her.  She doesn't care if we get caught mid tantrum in public by someone she knows, its all par for the course.  Her confidence and effortless execution of this thing called motherhood makes me a little jealous.  She also makes me more confident that my kids won't end up in therapy if I lose my shit every now and then.  Let's be honest, a perfectly acting toddler in public is a toddler who has the fear of his mama's wrath at home.  Well done mom, well done.  

By now you may realize I am not talking about my own mom.  Yes, she is a great mom who I will celebrate this weekend.  But the mom in the thick of life with me are my mom friends. While my mom gets it, she never stayed home.  Which is amazing and I have no idea how she accomplished all she did... seriously she's a rock star, who I am convinced was gifted extra hours in the day.  She can't relate to being a stay at home mom, and she certainly can't relate to me thinking the tiny blonde haired, blue eyed boy of mine could ever be a monster.  Because what grandma thinks their grandchild is capable of such wickedness. 

You see mom friends, or at least mine they just get it.  When they tell me their struggles it actually benefits me to hear whats working and what is not.  I need to hear that not everyone has it together, and that their husbands make them crazy from time to time.  I don't want someone to tell me its all going to be ok, I want someone to pour me a glass of wine and tell me I am not alone.  What I never realized when we decided I would stay home is that I would be isolated.  No one feels sorry for the mom who doesn't have a "job".  Not even my husband gets it.  When I started meeting other moms I began to feel apart of something bigger.  I no longer felt like my days would be endless as I worked tirelessly towards every milestone while everyone else got to work on themselves.  There were times I wasn't sure I fit into this new role.  Maybe a life of service to my family wasn't a life well served if I didn't have my own accomplishments.  It was my mom friends who made me realize my family's accomplishments will always be mine too.  I might only be raising my family, but together we are raising part of the community. That was enough.  I am enough.

My mom friends uplift me when it isn't my husband or tiny taskmaster getting me down.  When I can't navigate my emotions, trying to be there as a child of a dying parent and be the parent to a little one and one on the way.  When I can't put into words why I struggle to call my Dad more because death is scary and I am afraid of what that means.  That I can't celebrate the life I have growing inside me while dealing with the dying process my Dad has been going through.  When I feel like I need to take care of myself they meet me at the gym, or take the time to have a heart to heart.  When my heart needs the encouragement to be better for my family they keep me in their prayers.  They celebrate the wins and cheer me on after a setback.  

Mom friends everywhere, I hope you are loved, celebrated & encouraged this weekend! Thanks for your selfless love and your great appreciation for all things caffeine and wine.... I promise to be a better coffee and vino date in a few months! 

No comments:

Post a Comment