Mom Code

As young girls, even as a young adult woman there was the unspoken Girl Code.  You know - no dating each others exes, no copying the same outfits, no gossiping, keeping each others secrets, and no fornicating with the enemy... whoever the enemy of the hour was.   None of that crazy applies to my current life.  Obviously becoming a wife and mom crosses plenty of that off the list and the rest is hopefully just irrelevant to adult life.  But then there is mom code.  Mom code is the unspoken code of conduct for us baby bearing broads.

Do not expect me to roll out a freshly vacuumed red (or any colored for that matter) carpet for you when you arrive to a play date.  I may answer the door.  I may just holler that its unlocked.  Obviously on a first mom date I will go out of my way to make you feel welcomed.  After that make yourself at home.

Real friendship is not high maintenance.  If I don't call you for a week its because I'm probably losing my mind or can't find my phone.  Hurt feelings over being left out are silly.  Invite yourself - it is one less thing for me to think about.      

Be real.  Sometimes I am put together  and my house is perfect - usually that's Thursday after my greatest luxury, my cleaning lady leaves.  If you pop in on a Wednesday we are a wreck.  Roll with it.  We live here.  Between the two kids, two dogs, and Tasmanian devil I married, I am doing good to be caught up on laundry and have food in the house.  

Day drinks.  Every now and then, the sun will come out, the kids will be playing in harmony, and a wave of relaxation hits and you think, "I would love a mimosa the size of my head" to really feel like I'm on vacation here.  Having a day drink with the girls is always fun because we don't have to plan for sitters, or stay up past bedtime, we can have a girls night in the middle of the day.  Then there are days when everything goes wrong and you need an emergency drink at the local hang spot because... life, kids, and husbands. 

There is no greater contribution to this world than the people we raise.  I love my kids beyond measure and I know you love yours too.   Of course they also drive us nuts.  I will never judge someone for saying their kid is acting like a jerk, or for sarcastic jabs spoken under your breath as you fill a sippy cup for the hundredth time, or remind your toddler to stop doing something while counting to three through gritted teeth.

This is real life, with real problems and trials.  If something in your life is totally going wrong and you need me I will get a sitter and be there.  If you really just need a sitter to be alone - drop them off.  Mom friends, aren't just friends it is a sisterhood.  A safe place to not take it all too seriously.