I am not a huge fan of birth stories. Some people love them, I don't happen to be one of those people but I never want to forget that day. So for the sake of my memory and anyone who loves a birth story here we go!
5:30AM I wake up soaked. I am not totally sure if I peed my pants (gross but possible), if my toddler peed on me in his sleep (also gross, also possible) or if my water broke but I know I need to get up. As soon as my feet hit the floor so does some more water. I jump in the shower knowing we just spent our last night as a family of three. I let Nick sleep and text my doctor. As I finish getting ready Leavitt wakes up and I get him breakfast and ready for school.
8:30AM I drop Leavitt off at school. He's crying. I start crying. Pissed we are sharing our last moment together in this little school kitchen crying in front of what feel like strangers. The teachers suggest my tears are making it worse, so I tell them I will be having the baby today, which for some reason is really difficult to verbalize. It was so hard to have to say bye to him as the baby there. I kept telling him his grandfather would get him from school and he could come see me later.
9:00AM I get to my doctors office who confirms my water broke. He seems to think I did a good job breaking it as he shows me on an ultrasound what looks like my baby kissing the placenta. He sends me over to the hospital. I start to let my mind calm down knowing all these visits to this office were all in preparation for today and I need to just let everyone do their job when I get to the hospital. I call my husband who is at work, and I head home to finish packing.
10:20AM we check into the hospital. I start to feel super calm. I chat with the registration girl about how different the hospital is since I got done working there. The first of a dozen people who will recognize me, making me nervous I will have to be vulnerable around people I know.
Our last picture together before we became parents for the second time.
In the afternoon we had visitors bringing Nick food, checking to see how long before we have this little guy. I relaxed most of the afternoon. Checking in with my father-in-law who had picked up Leavitt from school for us. I brought a travel oil diffuser, calming music, and prayed to keep things into perspective. Sitting around makes my mind wander. I started thinking about the last time we were all up there together welcoming one little one into the family and saying goodbye to another. It was so important to keep my mind positive so I refocused myself on little Preston and how lucky I am to be his mom.
At about 4:30PM I got my first epidural... that had to be taken out and replaced. Then the second epidural was only working from the knee down. By the time it started working where I needed it to I could feel literally nothing and was kind of excited to be pain free for the first time.
6:00PM. A quick chat with my doctor and he was heading home, he told Nick and my mom that it would be another 6-12 hours. I knew that couldn't be. I just knew he would be here sooner than that. But I trusted my doctor so I tried to get some rest.
Around 8:00PM My mom went for a walk but when they checked on me while she was gone I had progressed enough that they needed to call my doctor back. I finally put the gun to Nick's head to pick a name for the baby. We had agreed on Preston months ago but needed a middle name. Nick suggested we use Frederick, my Dad's first name, who passed when I was 6 months pregnant. It also happens to be Nick's great grandfather's first name. I laid there for a few moments as they wrote his name on the board thinking about all the ways I hope Preston is able to be like my Dad even though they will never meet here on earth. My Dad loved life and having fun, thinking about him gave me a good smile and I really knew everything would be OK.
At 9:10PM my doctor was getting ready to let me push soon, and my sister showed up.
After two contractions of pushing the doctor asked me who was cutting the cord. Nick said he was all set to stay up by my head. So I said I wanted to do it. Then the doctor tells me ok, he will be here soon.
9:35PM he was born. So peaceful. No crying, just staring at me. The most perfect coloring, precious pouty lips, and dark hair like his mama. The nurse begged him cry, shaking him on my chest with a towel to irritate him into a cry. My mom and sister told me after that made them nervous. I wasn't nervous at all though. The way he looked at me, his perfect color, and his rooting around in the first few minutes I knew he was fine. After a minute of bonding the doctor hands me the cord and a pair of scissors with Preston still on my chest I cut the cord. My doctor then jokes I'm his new hero, I am pretty sure I laughed at that... he's an old army doc after all.
Our first picture together just moments after he was born.
There it is folks, the nitty gritty details of meeting Preston for the first time. It was a great experience and I would do it all again tomorrow if I could. The mix of hormones, adrenaline, fear, love, the whole darn circus of emotions somehow always make me feel so at peace. Never have I felt greater purpose for my life than in the moments leading up to and after giving birth. I will always feel an overwhelming sense of gratitude to have had this experience, and it having been a good one. So many people can't say that and I don't take it for granted that I can.
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