Monday, October 5, 2015

CONFESSIONS OF A STAY AT HOME MOM


Thank you so much for your love, kind words, and support for my sister and our family.  We so appreciate it more than you could ever know.  Since things have been a little heavy around here I decided to lighten it up with a little self deprecating humor.

Five things I am embarrassed but not sorry for that happen on the regular around here.  I also am sharing some mommy blooper pics for your entertainment... enjoy that, why don't you?

1.  If I am more that ten steps from the trash can and there is a piece of my sons snack on the floor I am more likely to pick it up and eat it than I am go pick it up and walk to the trash.  Why? Because in the time it takes me to walk to the trash he will no doubt make a mess of something else.  I also probably have not eaten so it's sort of a win for me.  He eats fruit and cheese all day, you know what goes good with fruit and cheese? Wine.  It helps me get in the mood for later just in case things get crazy and I pour a glass of vino that I will no doubt not get to finish.

2.  I am so jealous that my husband uses the restroom on the regular by himself.  All day at work he's free to do his damn business in peace. Me on the other hand? I have someone Yanking my leg, flushing the toilet mid pee, throwing TP around like confetti and tampon bombing the dogs from the top of the stairs.  Because my husband clearly has no sympathy for my all day potty situation I don't discourage Leavitt from harassing him first thing in the morning if you know what I mean.



3.  Sometimes when the house is on the verge of no return I put Leavitt in the car seat (obviously in the garage his door and the house door open... relax) with his iPad and a sippy so that I can do a quick sweep of the living area to clean it before we leave.  He is entertained, it takes me less than 3 minutes and it does a 180 on my attitude.  We then leave and go about our merry business.... ok Starbucks & Target runs.  We no longer have a safe contained spot in the house for him, he can climb out of anything so its all hands on all the time.  I don't know about you all, but coming home to a mess is right up there on the list of things that send me on a war path.

4.  There are certain things I won't compromise.  My daily shower is one of them.  I will, come hell or screaming toddler get myself together every day.  My tiny taskmaster is up at 6AM letting himself out of his crib and rousing the house.  He refuses to watch Mickey Mouse Clubhouse on repeat in a pack n play so that I can have a half hour alone.  He also is an afternoon napper.  So whats a mom to do?  Shut the damn door and take a shower with an audience.  He loves our walk in shower with the river rock floor so usually he pretends we are at our very own splash pad and plays away.  Relaxing right? Uh no.  I could get up at 5 for a lonely relaxing shower but seriously Target doesn't open until 8 I don't even know what I would do if I had my shit together before that.


5.  I have washed the same load of towels at least 3 times before putting them in the dryer.  My husband is very particular about the smell of his towels and I often forget them.  This is the reason we already need to replace them.  I refuse to put them in the dryer during nap time because someone can always hear the faintest dryer noise.  As luck would have it the lights on the dryer resemble a buzz light year accessory and you better believe if he thinks that thing is in commission he's up and at it.

No shame in our game.  Is it bedtime yet?




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