Friday, June 13, 2014

Confessions of an accidental mom

I am going to start with a disclaimer because I know Mommyhood is a topic some get stuffy about and judgey judgey over so here it is: I am a loving mother with a sense of humor.  I live the truth of my own situation and in no way claim to have it all together.  What I will say is that my son is loved and well taken care of, he is happy and truly a light in this world.  I say most things with a lot of humor and a hint of truth. Please do not take me too seriously because I mean nothing but love when I express myself especially as a momma. 

I call myself an "accidental mom" because I not only was shocked to find out I was pregnant, but I also never saw myself as maternal.  I found it hard to be friends with people that talked about wanting babies, trying to have babies, planning babies.  They were exhausting to me.  I smiled went to every baby shower I was invited to, threw my sister a baby shower in the sweltering heat and gladly bought items on their registries.  I had only one hope... there would be wine at the shower.  I fell into this wonderful role of mommy on accident and yet here we are happier than ever... this is the stuff Walt Disney is made of.  I hope through my honesty and humor you realize I not only feel blessed, I know I am.  I love my life and little family the way Scrooge mcduck likes his money, they are my happy place.

To the well meaning morons that bought me birthing books, pushed me to breastfeed, asked if I read the books you got me, told me "it will all be worth it in the end": I did not read your books, I never tried to breastfeed and it certainly was worth it but I would have been ok with one of those easy breezy "I love being pregnant" pregnancies and have loved my baby just the same.  I did however read Jenny McCarthy's book "belly laughs" and was so comforted by someone Else's down to earth take on, farting, getting fat, snoring, loss of bladder control and all the things that are mortifying and no one talks about.... that's right girls it was all worth it in the end (insert eye roll).

I had the fortune and misfortune of designing and building a home, finding out I was pregnant and raising a naughty and so cute puppy all within the same week.  To be able to build a home to grow in gave me to ability to not only imagine what his childhood would look like but create the backdrop for which his memories will be made.  My lack of energy sometimes hindered my creativity and our home resembles my own childhood home.  Lots of good stuff going on I only wish I had been able to enjoy the process of each more... oh well life is good anyways.

I lucked out.  Never had a sleepless night.  My almost 6 month old has never cried all night from colic.  The true maternal instincts were enough, I did not need a book.  After all I do have my own mom and by god I have asked her every question out there.  I never got painful itchy stretch marks and I have yet to have a postpartum break down.... Nick I think you're in the clear.

 My child has been compared to a Buddha.  He's handsome, smiley, interactive and so peaceful.  I have to assume he knows we are doing the best we can and it shows in his contentment with us.  Staying home I take the brunt of the responsibility and would take it personally if my son were to be unhappy.  Strangers stop us all the time to sneak a peak and tell me what a happy boy he is... sure they say that to most moms but I smile and say "he has nothing to be sad about" which although its true is probably as annoying as the complete strangers asking me about breastfeeding.... oye.

So I am sure it seems as though I am now a judgey judgey mom and I am not.  If you read every book, breastfed for a year or 2 days, loved being pregnant or hated it and really felt it would be worth it in the end.... BRAVO! I hope your baby is as funny and happy as mine... I am sure you love yours the way I do mine.  But please stop asking me about it, I will be forced to tell you how easy it  has been for me and that I prepared a great nursery and he has a darling wardrobe, that is how I welcomed him... fashionable and cozy.  And we all know you uptight mommies hate when someone goes against the grain.  I hope my son has the courage to form his own opinions and follow his instincts the way I have navigated being a mother I hope he navigates through life.  With a sense of self, a sense of humor and the confidence to fly by the seat of your pants every now and then.

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