Remember This

There are so many things I take for granted being a Mom.  I hate that I know this about being a parent, and yet there is nothing I can do about it.  Tiny moments that bring great pleasures and yet somehow they go unsavored.  I am terrified to forget these things that I am noticing for the second time.  The things that made my heart skip a beat becoming a mom for the first time, that I had forgotten until I had another.  Part of me dies thinking I won't remember some of this someday.

The smell of my son on my clothes as I pull my shirt over my head at the end of a long day.  Weather it's his Noodle & Boo lotion from his face and head, or spit up from a feeding a little too on-the-go for his tiny body to handle.  As I put my pajamas on I always find myself getting a quick second wind  gearing up to soothe two kids to sleep.  Making sure everyone has their before bed drinks, clean combed hair, and cozy pajamas.  I can smell this moment.  I forgot how good baby milk breath smells, or slightly sour milk in the folds of his ever so soft neck.  

I can still hear Leavitt's quiet but desperate cry.  I can hear it in Preston and it kills me that I will blink and Preston will be a boisterous little boy clanging and banging around the house like his brother.  The sweet sob that makes me drop everything and come running.  Eventually will sound so bossy I will make him wait.  The cry will soon become for anyone that will listen, right now it is just for me. He knows his greatest wail, from his tiny body will bring his mama.  Bring the person who is anticipating that cry, who knows what he needs in that very moment.  

I forgot how a newborn magically fits so perfect on a new moms body.  How his little body just seems made to snuggle mine, like a puzzle piece is made for another.  I don't know how God knew but he made each of my babies heads the exact size of my chest, perfect for kissing noggins while snuggling.  Perfect for smelling new baby hair and skin.  These moments when I am holding or carrying him while he is so little, I just want to live in that moment forever. 

The same way I was made to love a newborn I can feel myself made to love a toddler.  I am sad one day these moments will give way to learning how I was made to love an older kiddo.  Time is such a blessing, but it can be cruel.  Pushing us along at its own pace, forcing us to evolve faster than we want.  Sometimes I don't even realize something is happening and just like that I've swaddled for the last time.  I hate not knowing when the last time will be.  Every part of me is desperate to remember these things.  To not take them for granted, because someday soon I will be so jealous of myself today.  I will want to be this person again, if just for a day, to have someone that smells like sour milk, fit so perfectly on my chest, to kiss their little head, and hear them cry out for only me.  Learning to live in this bittersweet reality is so hard.  That's the thing about having your second, you are no longer blissfully unaware of where this journey is taking you.  You know there will come a time you will rock someone to sleep for the last time, and you might not even know it will be the last time.  

Photos by Danielle Brady Photography

Weekend Happenings

We are running out of nice weather weekends here in Maine.  I am not looking forward to having to wrangle jackets and little people so I am soaking up every last weekend we have before the frost sets in.  Saturday we found ourselves watching my nephew play his last soccer game.  It was so exciting to see him out there running around, and of course Leavitt wanted to get out there too.  After the game we went to breakfast with some of my family that were meeting Preston for the first time.  My mom, sister, cousin, aunt, and I sipped mimosas with the kids in tow.  It was nice to catch up and I'm sure the throngs of breakfast goers were happy to see us leave with four kids!  We are for sure a traveling circus when my sister and I have all the kids together now.  After breakfast we snagged some pumpkins from a farm stand,  to carve at my mom's house.  She made crock pot mac n cheese for the kids and we watched a hallmark movie.  

Sunday I got the boy up and ready for church.  We are talking missions this week.  Which again reminds me how fortunate my kids are just to live here and know the lord.  After church Nick joined us for a road trip to go leaf peeping.  He basically wanted to do anything else but lately the kids are easiest in the car and I needed easy after our busy Saturday.  With Starbucks in hand, we headed to the coast for optimal leaf scenery.  Made a pit stop at L.L. Bean for winter boots.  Drove to the top of Cadillac mountain where the wind almost blew us off the road.  Filled our bellies with yummy food at Paddy's while sitting outside taking in all the boats and tourists.  While wasn't exactly what my husband wanted to do, we had fun, and got some quality family time in with minimal toddler wrangling which is like hitting the family day out lottery.  

I can't think of a better way to spend an autumn weekend in Maine.  We are so lucky to live in such a beautiful place and experience all four seasons.  I may not be singing the same tune in a couple months when we are snowed in, so for now I soak it up!  Hope you all had a wonderful weekend! I am easing into Monday by snuggling my newly minted one month old.  

Weekend Wrap up

Weekends tend to be a little unpredictable these days.  This weekend was the perfect blend of randomness that I needed.  Saturday we were supposed to go to Walmart to do a little family shopping.  I know, I know.  I am cheating on my first love, Target.  Who would have guessed that Target the mother of all mom stores, would stop carrying my favorite on the go formula packs?  They really let me down on that one.  So once a week I brave Walmart and pray I don't get so desperate that I buy a Dunkin' Donuts coffee that will no doubt rot my snobby Starbucks loving insides.  Clearly I am not the only high maintenance consumer in my house because seconds after putting my mom rig in park my husband looked at me and said "do we have to?".  Now for all of you married folks you know that is just another way of saying that he'd rather die or pay his taxes than enter Walmart on a Saturday.  I shot him the best you-have-to-be-kidding wife stare.  To which he countered "lets go to Margarita's for lunch".  Who needs formula and toilet paper, when you can have tequila, chips and salsa for lunch? No one.

Sunday we normally head to church while my husband sleeps in.  But it was raining and I needed a morning to not get three people ready and out the door.  So Leavitt and I strapped our aprons on and made pumpkin chocolate chip muffins while Preston watched.  I asked my mom to brave Walmart with me, but we ended up at two other big box stores and I still didn't get the list totally checked off.  We grabbed drinks at Starbucks and were planning to take the long way home when she asked if I wanted to go to Margarita's.  Why yes, yes I do.

After hitting up our favorite spot for the second time in one weekend, we drove to the pumpkin patch to get some pumpkins for the porch.  I spray painted them with gold, silver, and rose gold paint.  I would carve them but mixing toddlers and sharp objects isn't my thing.  I am obsessed with how they came out, and now want to spray paint everything.  I put a few on the mantle in the living room, and am still loving my acorn garland from last year.  I will probably buy even more small pumpkins to paint until I have no where left to stash them.

While I tend to function better when there is a plan, it felt good to throw the plan to the wind while we let the weekend take us where it wanted.  My structure loving self welcomed Monday with open arms for a change and the beds were still warm when I made them. Order restored.  Hope you all had a good weekend, and are loving your fall as much as we are!

Dear Preston

Dear Preston, 

I want to write to you so that it is never lost in my mind, or in time how special these last few weeks have been since you joined our family.  I worried so much about adding to our family.  Your brother is really special to us, and like all parents we wondered how we could love another baby the same way.  The truth is we won't.  The love is equal, but different.  Your brother made me a mom, but you Preston, completed me.  You are so, so special to me.  You have brought joy and love to my life beyond measure and I will always have a special place in my heart for you as the baby.  I will relate to you on being the baby of the family because I am too.  You're going to get hand me downs, something your brother knows nothing about.  You will see things happen for your brother before they happen for you and it will be frustrating at times.   But you're getting a better version of me.  Don't tell your brother but I tested out the parenting thing on him first so if we screw anyone up it will be him.  I'm kidding of course... well sort of.

I am fiercely protective of you, and hate to put you down or let others hold you.  Literally the whole world has a cold right now, and I am trying so hard to protect you from it.  I also know how fast this is going to go.  I am going to blink and you will be walking, talking, and taking off on me.  You'll bond with others and I won't be the only one you want.  So for now I am greedy and don't share you.  We spend all of our free time while Leavitt is in school snuggling.  Someday we will need a break from each other, you will want friends, and I will need a manicure.  For now though, you are my little sidekick and we are having the best time.  You hardly ever cry, and are pretty easy on me at night.  You wake to eat, and snuggle then you let me get back to my rest.  You are easy going on the go, and don't give me any hassles about shopping trips and Starbucks drive through runs.  You're best friend material for sure. 

Big life moments have a way of bringing profound new perspectives.  Your birth is no different.  I think about your first few weeks and I am so grateful.  You have been to church, your doctors office, family houses and businesses, and your new home.  I know it seems silly, this is just life.  But as you get older I hope you realize how blessed you are to know the lord in your first week of life.  That you are able to not only see a doctor but get a clean bill of health.  That you have a good family that love you and will be great examples of what it means to work hard.  That we have a home, where you are warm, safe, and have your own space to grow.  I am so happy for you that these basic things are yours and will take you far in life.  

I hope you always know that I am proud of you.  I love you so much and pray everyday for you.  I thank God that you are mine and you for making us better.   Welcome to the family circus buddy, you're in for one heck of a ride! XXOO

| Photos by Danielle Brady Photography |

Doubling The Love

Well, folks it is official, I am a boy mom twice over.  The last two weeks with our newest squad member has been better than I could have ever hoped.  He's the perfect newborn, and his brother is so proud of his new best friend.  I am adjusting to life with double the love, double the fear, and hormones that always seem to misfire at the worst times.  I cry when I introduce him to people, how corny is that? I keep hoping no one is noticing my tears of pride but I am pretty sure they are.

Maybe it was other people getting inside my head but I have to say the two kid thing is so much easier than people let on! I keep telling myself it will never be easier than it is today so I might as well get out of the house.  Other than the obvious family Target trips, our newest member has been to MOPS, bible study, the apple orchard, and a pizza picnic with his brother.  I am in awe of how much a second baby can move in and seem like he was always here.  We are the luckiest little family.  I am so proud of these little boys for taking everything in stride.  

The post baby #2 mom bod is a lot less terrifying than people made it out to be.  Seems a lot like post baby #1 mom bod, but then again I could still be riding the happy hormones and clueless about reality.  Either way I am blissfully ignorant to it and really I don't care to know the difference right now.  

Basically I am riding this wave of happiness right now.  I have these profound moments of gratitude lately.  I am loving these daily adventures with my boys.  Watching my husband ease into his role as a Dad of two little boys has been fun.  He has totally surprised me in the best ways.  I have fallen in love with our house all over again, the place we built as we became parents for the first time has now seen us welcome another one.  Things feel really special right now, and I can't wait to see where this new adventure takes us. 

So as we continue to enjoy these beautiful Maine fall days, I promise I am going to be a better blogger.  I have some special things planned to introduce you to the little one, and will probably have a meltdown at some point and let you enjoy that too! Thanks for hanging in there with me while I focused on becoming a Mom again! 

It's been too long

Here we are again.  I have sat down with a million ideas to blog in my head, only to realize it has once again been too long.  I could blame the end of summer.  Our jam packed fall, or the fact that I am about to birth another human into this world.  I could tell you about the anniversary trip we took, following my husband being in a wedding, or about my son starting school and a new daycare all in the same week.  I could tell you about the surprise shower my bible study friends threw for me, that was more like a shock because I showed up for the first time ever in yoga pants and my fanciest GMC hat I stole from my two year old.

While all of those things have my fingertips on fire, ready to fill you all in on the insanity that is my life lately, I mostly am just sitting still.  Still in these last moments as I soak in my little one becoming a big brother.  Still, not sure I will ever be able to comprehend how I will make it through my days bringing up two little boys, who will need me in entirely different ways.  I have been holding back my urge to lose my shit on the people around me who are trying to help.  I have also been asking for help with Leavitt more, because he wants to have fun and I have a to-do list a mile long.  I have been trying to stay connected to my friends that make me feel normal and get all the pampering in while I can.  Which reminds me I need to call and have my grays covered before the baby gets here, because we all know the only flattering angle for a new mom to be photographed from is from the head down... luckily lashes are on point if I miss the chance to hit the hair salon.

So while I have been busy doing life these last few weeks I will recap a couple things we have been up to that you may or may not have caught on instagram... the only place that hasn't felt my radio silence lately.

We headed to Stockton Springs, here in Maine for a wedding weekend filled with family and new friends.  I spent most of the weekend asking where my little blonde haired socialite was.  He tends to follow his Grandfather everywhere, and I tend to get stopped by people curious about when this baby is going to arrive, makes for some parental chaos.  The wedding happened to be the weekend of our anniversary so it was a nice reminder of our day, and what matters to us as we take on another year of marriage.  The wedding was at French's Point and was beautiful, simple, and very coastal Maine.  Mama about died because.... no AC.  You read that right I spent an entire weekend, nine months pregnant, wrangling a toddler away from home, with no AC.  It made for sweaty family pics and lots of cold showers, and car rides to soothe our overheated tot.  We had a good time and couldn't be happier for the Bride & Groom.  If the summer has been nothing else it has been busy.  The same way we rushed down there, we rushed home to unpack. 

Luckily I had a prize waiting for me at home... two days, one night, toddler free, away from home, with my husband all to myself, celebrating one year of marriage.  We checked into the Brunswick Hotel & Tavern.  Had dinner at the Royal River Grillhouse with friends, and mama got a prenatal massage the next day.  We shopped for our littles, and relaxed.  We even took a nap in the middle of the day for fun.  It was heaven.  So the picture of us at dinner had to be lightened three times so it is less than flattering but I like having proof we still adult from time to time so terrible pictures are going to happen.  

So there you have it a few of the things that have kept me away these last few weeks.  The stuff summers are made of.  As we settle into our new routine of school for Leavitt I hope to be better at keeping up with all that is happening around here.... you know like a new baby! 

Weekend Recap

Weekends are really hit or miss around here.  I never know if my husband will have to head into work for a little bit until the last minute, so planning is left to the birds.  We have been spending less time at camp and are settling back into our regular weekends around town.  Saturday had me scrambling to figure out what we would do.  Nick went to work for a quick visit, Leavitt and I did laundry and picked up the bedrooms.  I made breakfast and lunch at home, so after we went swimming the husband treated us to dinner.  

Sunday had me hoping I could make it to church for the first time this summer since we have been mostly at camp.  We got lunch as a family, each eating our fair share of salsa and guac, and got groceries in the obnoxious race car shopping cart.  While perusing the magazine aisle I spotted the Real Maine Weddings magazine that happens to feature my precious first born and our wedding cake.  I know, I already shared that on my personal Facebook, but seeing it on newsstands will never get old.  I had to snag a couple more copies just to make sure none of the grandmas were left without one.  

Real Maine Weddings Magazine

Leavitt totally stole the show at our wedding.  His precious obsession with my veil and dress, coupled with his adorable suspenders and bow tie made him the most darling guest of honor.  Our wedding photographer happens to be a dear friend and is used to his antics, but I don't think even she could have predicted his show stopping high jinks.  In true Danielle fashion she caught every last moment.  When she called to tell me she was dropping something off first thing in the morning I was bewildered mostly because she is not a morning person so her excitement had me wondering what it could possibly be.  Of course our show stopping toddler got a whole page just for himself, with me hand on hip in the background.  I remember this moment perfectly.  I had just gotten to the ceremony site and was feeling super emotional.  Leavitt distracted everyone playing under my veil, while his mama gained her composure.  He always finds a way to put me at ease. 

Photo by Danielle Brady Photography

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Our cake also graced to pages of the magazine; which to no ones surprise included a nod to who else? Our Toy Story loving tot.  Our cake topper says "To Infinity & Beyond".  I am thrilled that the details they chose to feature are from the baker and photographer we use in our everyday lives for special events, not just on our wedding day.  It could not be better timing that the magazine came out the month before our one year anniversary.  It has me feeling all nostalgic about our wedding... maybe it's the hormones.  

Cake by Sew Sweet 

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We spent the rest of the weekend back at the pool, pretending we weren't headed for the reality check that is vacation week at daycare.  Monday morning has been slow starting thanks to some terrible weather, and a two year old who all of a sudden wants to cuddle.  Luckily we have something going on every day this week to break up the lack of free time I will have.  We will be headed to the water this weekend for a wedding and Monday is our anniversary.  All this celebrating will be good to keep my mind off the fact that I am going to be a mom of two very, very soon; and that my first born is starting school next week.  How is that even possible?