Confessions of a Lunatic

I lose my shit from time to time over here.  I know I am not alone, but that doesn't make the guilt any less.  Lately it has been happening more.  The other day I actually screamed at my toddler to "get off of me".  Whoa.  I looked at him wrapped around my neck, choking me, and pulling my hair with his toes spider monkey style while I was folding clothes.  My heart hit the floor and broke into a million pieces.  He just wants to play, and his once adventurous mom is now the fun police.  I'm at the end of my third trimester.  I have constant feelings of having my body worn down by another person.  I'm uncomfortable and clearly it is wearing on me.  I have been busy trying to accomplish a bullshit list of things to make me feel ready.  In reality I am trying to feel in control.  Prove to myself I can do this.  That two kids will be fun and I can handle it.  That my life will still have some semblance of order.  That I can maintain our life and move forward with more on my plate.  I don't know why I put this pressure on myself.  My husband seems to have obvious easy solutions to my problems.  Leavitt doesn't care if I manage to make our house catalog perfect before he becomes a big brother.  I'm stressed trying to do these things for them and they just want me happy. The irony of the situation is not lost on me.

I complained to my mom the other day that I wasn't ready.  The boys needed new clothes, and the nursery wasn't done yet.  You know that room he won't use his first few months of life.  We took a shopping trip.  Bought the baby tiny precious onesies and pants.  Purchased adorably grown up school clothes for Leavitt.  We had a relaxing delicious lunch at the Royal River Grill in Yarmouth.  A place my mom had told me about after her last trip south.  After lunch we each purchased big baby items.  I sprung for the Halo swivel bassinet, and my mom got us the Mamaroo swing my husband has been coveting.  It is amazing how centered a day of retail therapy can make me feel prepared.  I'm not saying that shopping gave me some profound new perspective on bringing another baby home.  But spending a day focusing on just getting things prepared for them, and talking about them and what they need with my mom was enough to make me feel refreshed, despite my aching body.  

Through all of this petty stress getting the best of me is that my bible study group has been reading a book called Unglued By Lysa TerKeurst.  Clearly God would like me to read, reread, and practice some grace and patience in my own house.  I am going to start by washing a lifetime of baby clothes next week to prepare for my newest little one, without having a major head fit.  

We have two crazy weeks planned to force us out of summer and then we will be on official baby watch.  My husband is in a wedding the same weekend as our anniversary.  So we will attend three days of wedding festivities, come home for one night and take off for our anniversary getaway.  Which will include eating alone, a massage, and probably too much chatter about our children.  Praying he doesn't come sooner than that but anytime after September 1st we are ready little guy!  Between now and then I am going to try to savor every last ounce of Leavitt being an only child even if that means letting him sit on my head and combing my hair with his toes. 

That gem of a meltdown picture was captured by Danielle Brady Photography who knows I live for a meltdown picture during ever session. 

Dear Leavitt

Leavitt,

My precious first born.  Your world is about to be rocked.  I promise in great ways.  You are about to receive a gift far greater than anything we could ever really explain to you now.  God has a way of putting everyone we need in our lives.  You are about to meet a new person who will impact you daily.  Someone that will try your patience, help you in hard times, and will give you a sense of loyalty only a sibling could.  You're about to become a big brother.

I know there will be days you are frustrated he's here.  Mad that your favorite people now love someone else the way they love you.  It's ok.  I promise to love you through the hard days.  I know you will be so protective and loyal eventually.  The way you already snatch toys back for your baby cousin Saylor.  When you're at daycare and see the injustice you jump to her defense.  There was once a day you wouldn't even let Mommy talk to her.  You will be fantastic, and when you aren't I am going to try my hardest to have a little extra grace for you those days.  Mommy and Daddy will help you get there.

I know you sense some change coming.  Mommy has been getting bigger by the week and you're wondering why we keep calling my belly baby.  I have been asking you to do more for yourself, and won't carry you as often as you like.  You are confused by your old room no longer being yours, but you love your new digs.  I am a little confused myself.  I have no idea how I will love someone as much as you.  Not because I don't already love him, but because you're the one who taught me how to love.  Everything good your Dad and I have ever done together has been to make your life the best we could.  I am forever grateful to have been blessed to be your Mom, and all the ways you made us better.

I am so excited to meet this person God has picked just for our family.  The little one who will watch your every move, admiring you.  The truth is, I wanted this baby as much for you as I did us.  I wanted someone to be there for you in the hard times if ever Mommy and Daddy can't be.  When your Grandfather died this year I needed my siblings more than ever to make me feel whole, and normal again.  People who understood him, could laugh at the memories and cry for our loss. No one, not even a spouse or friend can sympathize like a sibling.  I want you to have that support system too.  A person who you can roll your eyes with behind our backs, and tell jokes about us only you two could ever understand.  A person to share your grief when life is hard, because life is hard sometimes.  You aren't just getting a brother.  You're getting an uncle for your little ones.  He might one day give you a niece or nephew, cousins for your kids one day.

I am excited for you to share your love of family, fishing, and the great outdoors with him.  You will have to show him around Dad's work, and tell him where all the good snacks are.  He's going to think you are the greatest person ever, believe me.  You see, Mommy is the baby of her family.  I fiercely love my siblings, and depend on them to be a listening ear when I feel judged by the world, or not good enough they lift me back up.  I hope you will always find that best friend in each other, that's what family is all about. 

All my Love,

Mommy

Photos By Danielle Brady Photography

Big Brother Gets A Bigger Room

Like with most promotions a new office is in order.  In our case the promotion to big brother means a bedroom upgrade.  My first project to tackle in nesting mode was to transform the guest room into a room for Leavitt.  Hopefully you enjoy mediocre before and after iPhone photos, because I have plenty of those for your viewing pleasure!

Our guest room has always been a simple space.  Equipped with the basics.  The most comfortable bed in the house, and a closet full of all things bedding and holiday decor.  Why my house doesn't have more closets I will never know because we built the house and have no one to blame but little old me.  I am giving myself another three years before I ever complain of this to my husband because he will for sure not be having any of my "lets add closets" nonsense.  The guest room was home to a chalk painting of my mom as a teenager on her horse Major.  I love the painting and had asked her when we moved into our house if I could have it and reframe it.  I'm so glad that I did, and while it will be finding a new home in my dining room, I loved it in this space.

|| Similar Duvet ||  Similar Quit & Shams ||

All of our bedding is from Pottery Barn and a couple years old.  I love the similar ones I linked for you.  I also love that no matter when I decide to put together a guest space this bedding will still go with everything in our house.  

 Here you can see the bedding a little better and sneak a peek at the painting of my mom in this picture.  

There you have it the simplest little guest room, where some of our favorite out of towners have crashed.

It is no secret we have been spending most of our days at camp, and the smallest family member is a fan of all things camp.  Mostly fish, bears and grampy.  While I couldn't deliver on a Grampy for the new room, I am pretty sure he's given the rest of the room a thumbs up.  

|| Rug || Similar Throw || Similar Chair ||  Duvet  || Similar Lamp || Tree Blanket ||

I started the room with the black and white tree blanket that I found at Target and was using at camp. I wanted to use buffalo plaid because it works for all Maine seasons.  I love that it reminds us of camp in the summer and will be so sweet at Christmas time.  I didn't want the room to feel too childish, but the rug gave the room just enough child camp whimsy to make it feel like his.  He is obsessed with the rug, we opted for the 4' x 6' size and he crawls all over it telling me what all the animals are.  The bear rug on the bed was my husband's as a kid and apparently one of his favorite things to lay on while watching TV.  Leavitt thinks it is so funny, and I loved giving it a new life in his room.  

I found the clear chair at Hobby Lobby on sale and used a coupon.  So if you are in the market for a chair like that check your local Hobby Lobby first! The throw on the chair I had from our Christmas card photos last year, if you missed those you can see them here.  I also framed one of the photos from that shoot above his bed!  I found the throw at TJ Maxx last fall and loved it for the photos.  I have a certain affinity for Ralph Lauren home goods, so I am thrilled I finally found a place for it in the house.  I linked one from Target because as we all well know it can be near impossible to locate a good TJ's find months later.  The duvet I actually found on Overstock first when I was looking at the rug, but was able to get it at Target for less during their summer home sale.  I love the way it washes, I was pleasantly surprised how soft it is.  Of course I had to include a picture of Leavitt and I in his room from our latest pictures with Danielle.  My Mother in law found the bear lamp at Reny's after I had mentioned I was looking for one.  

The marquee chalkboard is from Pottery Barn and was a gift from my Mom.  She originally bought it as a Father's Day gift for my husband's man cave.  I snagged it for this project wanting to hang it over the TV outlets on the wall, where my mother's painting once hung.  However it is extremely heavy.  I decided against mounting it to the wall and set it on his dresser instead.  My Mom told me the folks at Pottery Barn used liquid chalk on the sign.  So far no amount of scrubbing has gotten it to come clean yet.  I am going to figure it out or use chalk paint to cover it and start over.  Eventually it will have my little man's monogram on it.  The sign is no longer available but you can find a smaller version here.  

I love this space so much! It suits my little camper and can only hope he will be camping in our room a whole lot less now that his room is complete!  A Mom can dream right?!

Monday Mornings

I am starting to feel like a broken record, telling you all how busy things are around here.  But busy is starting to feel like an understatement.  I will be lucky if I keep my head above water headed into fall.  I have been adamant on making sure this pregnancy doesn't stand in the way of our fun this summer, or getting things done around the house.  I have been in full blown nesting mode.  Redecorating the guest room into Leavitt's big boy room.  Cleaning out all the closets, and organizing all the baby clothes.  When I'm not nesting I have been busy getting my little fisherman to the water.  You can find us at camp, beach play dates, and the pool.  Everyday we swim.  I've also been meeting up with my gal pals a couple times a week and taking day trips on daycare days to the coast.  So much of what I love packed into every single day this summer.

Until this past weekend put me in check.  We got up like always, I made breakfast, cleaned the kitchen, packed us up and ran off to camp.  When I got there I realized I was having the symptoms of a blood clot in my leg.  The symptoms can mirror some regular pregnancy symptoms many women have.  However I was particularly worried because I had already been struggling with circulation and varicose veins.  I was scared enough to message my OB who sent me to the emergency room to be checked out.  Luckily I am fine.  Unluckily I was told to "take it easy" the same thing my husband has been nagging me to do every time he sees my legs swollen and I am still running around.  

As my due date approaches, the more I want to do.  I want to make memories with Leavitt and give him the best summer ever.  I also really want to get the house ready for a newborn, and lets be honest I have a lot to do.  We have events every weekend leading up to September.  We also need to squeeze in an anniversary trip to connect over a successful first year of marriage, and prioritize us before we become a party of four.  So much goodness I don't see myself taking it easy any time soon, but my husband and mother will probably force my hand.  

After my little trip to the ER I went back to camp just in time to enjoy the late afternoon no napping camp attitude in full swing.  Selfishly I wanted to bring him home and snuggle, but his Gramp rocked him to sleep so I went home with Nick to get some quality sleep for the first time in forever.  We enjoyed a leisurely morning getting up and around while reading fishing text updates from the grandparents.  While I'm sure he missed us, he missed all the frogs that got away so much more.  

Monday has me compiling a to-do list a mile long, and trying to decide what I should tackle first.  We made waffles, got Dad out the door and are considering if we need groceries or dry cleaning more.  Leavitt is hollering at the dogs and lawn crew and unleashing his battle cry on the scuba dentist that kidnapped Nemo.  In the spirit of taking it easy I might get my groceries at Target so we can enjoy a little Starbucks while we shop.  I think I have the hang of this!  Happy first day of August friends!

Photos by Danielle Brady Photography

Toddler Summer

Lets talk about a toddler's summer.  I was scrolling through my phone today weeding through the excessive amount of photos I take, realizing that my little man has managed to make it to the water every single day for the better part of the last few weeks.  My husband's family has a camp on a lake, his grandparents have a pool, and we have an inflatable water slide pool thing that belongs at an amusement park not on my front lawn.  Once a week we usually meet up at a local beach for a play date.  While flipping through these photos my first reaction was really proud that we are making this the best summer a little dude could ask for.  Then I realized how much work it is and that I am so tired.  The constant packing and unpacking of food, drinks, wet towels, swimsuits, toys,  and dry clothes I am wiped out.

Other than sunscreen the first thing I pack is drinks.  Being in the sun with a little one, keeping him cool and hydrated is a major priority.  However, he's two.  He tends to spill his drinks, squeeze the box as soon as he gets it, or uses his drink as a sand toy.  He usually only has one thing on his mind... fish.  Oh, boys. 

|| Juice Box Holder ||

Nuby has a juice box holder that is so genius I can't believe how easy it is.  I throw it in the cooler with a few juice pouches, don't have to worry about rinsing it out between uses and he doesn't make a mess.  Its also a hit with Leavitt because he can use it with one hand instead of the two he needs to keep a juice pouch from squeezing out everywhere.  He loves fishing and would rather shrivel from dehydration than put down the fishing pole! The textured bottom means it stays standing further preventing spills.  A mommy win.

I also have been shamelessly using the wash or toss straw cups.  Just as the name says you can wash them after use or toss them.  They stack inside each other to make room in my drawers, the simple straw design is easy washing, assembling and using.  I love that they come in a four or six packs of fun colors Leavitt can mix and match them however he likes.  I also like that they are so inexpensive that if I lose one, have to throw it out, or it ends up a sand toy I have no guilt over it.  We had a play date recently and I sent a cup home with another mom, because toddlers love a road drink.  Not expecting it back.  I was so glad to have them to share, and equally as happy to have it back! Tomorrow we are headed to the beach again.  A play date with several moms and even more kids.  

|| Wash or Toss Straw Cups with Lids ||

Nuby was kind enough to allow me to host a giveaway for a juice box holder to one lucky reader! Find me on Facebook and Instagram to enter to win.  The giveaway will close on Friday July 22 at 8PM EST and the winner will be announced Saturday July 23.  U.S. residents only please!

Bringing up Leavitt is a Nuby Parent Blogger and was given products in exchange for reviews.  All opinions are and always will be my own. 

Nordstrom Anniversary Sale: Baby Edition

There are two types of people right now.  Half the world is charging their Nordstrom cards up like crazy and posting their finds on the WWW.  The other half are praying their finds are still available when the early access ends and everyone without the card can shop the sale on July 22nd.  I don't have the card so I am in the group of retail prayer warriors.  While I could get the card and pay it off like a responsible adult there is a part of me that likes the gamble of weather or not my favorite items sell out.  What can I say I live on the edge.  All items except the travel crib are under $50 making this one of the best baby boy round ups ever.  

|| Blanket || Fleece Suit ||

These two are Maine baby must haves.  A monogrammed stroller blanket for $42.90 and the softest fleece suit ever made for $45.90 will have your baby cozy and cute while out and about in the cold Maine months.  

|| Outfit || Travel Crib ||

Stem Baby Organics makes this adorable little outfit.  I am obsessed with their clothes.  Leavitt had several pieces from them that I loved.  Stylish and functional, making them perfect for new babes and toddlers alike.  I must say their stuff washes so well!  This outfit is on sale for $25.90 and is worth every penny!  

I have never owned this travel crib, but I did my research.  I watched youtube videos, and read other mommy blogs.  Everyone says this is the easiest thing to fold, without a loose fitting bag to make lugging it around easier.  This has a changing station feature as well as a bassinet option while they are newborns helping make the $231.90 price tag worth it.  This is definitely on our list of things to snag before baby #2 gets here!  

|| Hoodie || Boots ||

This Norstrom Baby hoodie is clearly adorable and on sale for $19.90 making it a steal.  I love the little bear ears to give it that aww factor and the gray means it will go with everything! 

These UGG boots are taking me back a little bit.  Leavitt had a pair of blue and brown ones I bought the day we found out we were having a boy.  They are special to me so I am keeping them just for him.  That being said he wore them all the time and this little guy is going to need a pair.  This gray color is right up my alley and so so sweet for a newborn boy or girl.  Normally I would need to sneak these into the house but for $39.50 I think even my husband will agree we need these!

 

|| Moccs || Sweater ||

Moccs are everywhere.  And more and more people are making them.  I love the story of the Freshly Picked brand, but they are the most expensive moccs on the market.  Leavitt had several pairs and the ones that don't have his footprints in them will be shared with his brother.  But these little ones are making me think our newest edition needs these! The color and the woven sweater look are perfection.  On sale for $41.90 makes them cheaper than you could ever get them from a Freshly Picked sale.  

This sweater is Stem Baby Organics like the outfit above.  Leavitt had 3 of these sweaters.  The pointed hood makes babies look like adorable little elves.  The buttons and tassel on the hood give it a made with love look.  For $24.90 you can't go wrong weather you are shopping for a gift or shopping for your own little one.

I hope all your favorite items are still available when the early access ends if you are a gambler like myself!  If you have the card, happy early shopping, I'm a little jealous so enjoy that for me! I am going to put together some toddler & mama must haves for you all too! Hope you all had a fabulous weekend! We sure did!

Lately

I had planned on sharing with you the sweet details of our 4th of July weekend, but the week has gotten away from me and that all seems like a lifetime ago.  So I will give you all the nitty gritty of our life lately.

We had a great weekend with plenty of relaxation and family time.  My little one once again got his camp and grandparent fix.  Mommy and Daddy took a day date to get coffee and a few groceries.  I snuck out to do a little shopping while my husband took Leavitt fishing with his Dad.  I sprung for a flamingo towel, bubble machine and shirts for my husband.  Truthfully it felt like a splurge, probably because I was solo shopping for something other than food.  We filled our hearts with memories and our bellies with lobster.  My husbands uncle thrilled my two year old with a fly by in his helicopter and I managed to reclaim my cool status by catching a turtle.  The thrills people.  

Monday being a holiday meant Tuesday came in like a wrecking ball.  We managed to crawl out from under the mountain of camp laundry and my husband made it to work while Leavitt and I got groceries.  Tuesday nights I have been joining some fabulous ladies for a bible study.  Our summer series has us restaurant hopping and reading a book on how to keep our cool.  My mom watched Leavitt so I could meet the girls and dine al fresco, while my husband had a guys night with the best man from our wedding turned house guest for this week!  The break we all got was refreshing and we all slept a little sounder that night.

Wednesday had me debating weather or not I was going to a beach play date.  I have been torn lately between feeling guilty and wanting to pack our days with memories before he becomes a big brother, and feeling like I am letting little things fall between the cracks around the house.  While I love a good play date, I have been on a hamster wheel of packing and unpacking lately.  I am so glad we went.  The water was cool, the sun was hot and the company was unmatched.  I packed us enough food to weather the apocalypse, beach gear and sunscreen.  I survived another public outing seven months pregnant in a swimsuit.  After a few hours the tide came in forcing us off the beach.  My little one clearly hadn't had enough so we went swimming at his great grandparents house.  He swam for a few hours and still stayed up past his bedtime with no naps.  It is no wonder why I am tired all the time!!

While I have been filling my days with memories and adventure I look forward to Thursdays.  When I can get that much needed manicure, conquer my to do list and generally get my shit together.  I am so thankful I have that time I can count on so that I can join play dates, and focus on just spending time with my favorite little guy and not feel overwhelmed with all the things I need to accomplish.  Which is a lot lately.  I have a few new things coming up on the blog in the next few weeks and in two months we will have a precious new family member to love... in the words of my babe "oh gosh!".

Hope you all are packing your summer with as much memory making as we are!