Flying with My Toddler

There aren't many things about parenting a toddler more intimidating than flying alone.  I have flown alone with Leavitt more than I have flown with help and have a few tips to share that make my life easier.

The first and maybe most important thing to remember when flying with a tot or baby is to buy them a seat even if they are under two.  We have never held him on our laps, having him strapped in and screaming is much more manageable for me than holding him while he flails and screams.  Also sit as close to the front as possible.  First row is ideal since there is no one in front for tiny feet to kick.  This also makes mommy bathroom trips easier.  I always ask a flight attendant to standby if Leavitt is sleeping and I don't take him with me.  Usually if I am more than a couple rows back I take him.  Flight attendants aren't always the most helpful but usually if they are close by they offer things to help a solo mom out.  The biggest reason for row one? Not having to lug a bag, toddler and, car seat down the aisle.... worst part for me every single time.  Make sure if you get to select your seat you choose the window seat since a car seat must go by the window and you will be taking someone else's seat if you have to swap.  Usually they don't mind but I did run across someone this trip who was pissed and they made sure to let me and everyone else know about it.  As much as I felt bad about it for him I felt worse for me having to sit snuggly between him and my toddler.  I had packed a whole bag of Reese's to bribe my toddler with.  I offered the guy a couple to try to ease the tension.

Do your homework.  Read up on TSA liquid regulations and flying with kids.  I always double check to make sure we haven't aged out of the "medically necessary liquids" which are milk, water, formula, breast milk and juice.  Keep those in separate zip locks and announce them as soon as you start taking other things out.  It takes longer to check those because they test them all individually.  Letting them know exactly what you have going on is the best way to get through.  My stroller must be hand checked so I tell them but I find that telling them last about the stroller is best so they aren't waiting to take it before I take him out.  He is the last thing I take out before going through the metal detector.  I never wear a belt or big jewelry while flying because its one more things to worry about at security.  I leave my car seat in the bag and send it through the x-ray machine.  If yours doesn't fit they will do a hand check and that can take a couple minutes so make sure to let them know when you let them know about the stroller.  Otherwise it can get left on the belt... I know its happened.  Usually my bag comes back to me first I try to have a small treat for him for being good and something to make him less fidgety as I am usually sweating by now.

I have already mentioned how important the car seat is to your on board sanity, and how to get it through security.  I have a little tip that has saved my life every single time since we have been out of the infant carrier.  I use a car seat bag which is more of a duffel but I use the straps like a backpack.  this keeps my hands free while schlepping all this gear to the plane.  My husband always says goodbye at the curb so I need that extra hand free for a suitcase when I get to my destination.  I actually prefer he leave us at the curb because it gives me a chance to wrangle all of our stuff under the best circumstances because I won't have help when we land.  Once we check our suitcase I have my car seat on my back, kid in the stroller, and mom purse underneath.

Buy an inexpensive car seat that is less than fifteen pounds.  Our car seat for every day use is close to thirty pounds and is hard to wrangle.  You also have to leave your kid in the stroller curbside while you install and uninstall at the airport.  I chose this one for the good reviews, inexpensive price and the fact that it is ten pounds.  I love that I can throw it in the back of my car when we get home and he goes directly into his normal seat.  At the end of a long trip the last thing I want to do is wrangle a car seat back into my car.

I gate check my stroller and will be honest I take my stroller everywhere despite the hefty price my husband paid for it.  Why have it if you won't use it right? Ok, so it is a little worse for the flight wear but I am familiar with it and that is key since there will be a lot going on when you hand that off.  For starters everyone else and their gear are boarding.  Transitioning the baby from stroller to arms while boarding with car seat and mom bag is the trickiest part of the whole trip and to be honest the shortest worst part of the whole thing for me.  This makes row one a real treat because the flight attendant will have to take a look at the car seat to make sure it is suitable for an aircraft.  I always take the car seat out of the bag before I take him out of the stroller, stuff it in my purse and then grab him.  Know where the aircraft symbol and writing is before you get your stuff in order.  You would think that someone would take it to your seat for you but that just has never been the case for me.

The two best tips other than these should be common sense for us moms, but truthfully in a stressful moment often gets lost.  No matter how stressed you get say please and thank you and stay calm.  I usually am chanting in my head "nothing to it but to do it"  if I start to get frazzled.  I always try to wear something reasonably comfy but that I feel stylish and put together in.  May sound weird but it gives me a little more confidence that I am put together and that I got this.  It also makes me feel better to know we at least look cute when the entire terminal stares.  Which they do screaming or not.  So give a fellow mom traveler a smile, a nod or even offer a hand if you are able.  I don't usually take people up on the help but the offer is nice.

If you are interested in the car seat bag you can get it here and lucky for you it is on sale right now.  I paid close to full price and has been worth every penny.  I love a mom not afraid to go it alone, and embarrassingly successful solo mom flights with Leavitt are a major confidence booster for my mom ego.  Happy flying friends!!

2016 Positive Thoughts

I let you in on my resolution last week and shared with you my indifference about starting a new year.  Now that I have rounded the corner and accepted we are in a new year, new times, and life is propelling us forward... ready or not.  Not to sound like an e-card but I have found a few positive things that will keep me afloat the remainder of this dreary winter.

Taxes I don't have to do anything this year except sign my husbands form or whatever.  I worked all of three shifts last year at the hospital and now that we are married the Mr. will be handling this for me and he's already sexier for it.  

I am also pumped about pale pink polish.  I always go dark for the Fall/Holiday season.  But my signature pale pink, almost white polish makes me happy.  I don't even care that I don't have any variety.  Consistency is the spice of my life.  The man that does my nails restocks the color just for me and even he was thrilled when I asked for the usual yesterday.  He was also pretty miffed at the condition of my nails... finally after telling him daycare was closed for a week (at least a million times) and thats why I looked out of sorts in the mani department he gave me a pass.   The matching pedi will have to wait until next week, but there is no way I will be showing my christmas toes in Florida.

I have kept my resolution and we are on day six!  Truthfully I chose an easy resolution that I knew I could keep because I don't feel like failing.  This early in the year letting myself down would suck the wind out of my sails.  My resolution has health benefits according to google and is almost fool proof.  I make the hot water when I make my coffee and drink them together.  If this negates the whole reason to drink lemon water just don't tell me.  Taking a girl off her high horse six days in is just rude.  I did however squeeze a lemon into my coffee this morning.  Im surprised it took me almost a week to manage that. 

After one day back at daycare I feel refreshed.  I went to a barre class with some mommy friends, had lunch with a non mommy friend at a the fanciest place in town and got a manicure.  I also hit up Walgreens and got my husband's dry-cleaning, after a knock down drag out phone argument with him about light khakis in the winter... clearly even he missed me having a daycare day to cross off the to do list.  All is well who is dressed well apparently.

I noticed the other day how much I love the sound my son makes when he eats.  He was making this delicate smacking noise while eating a banana muffin we had just made together.  I want to sit and eat with him more instead of setting him at his table while I clean it all up.  I also have been loving that he takes us by the hand to lead us to where he would like to go.  The not so subtle pull of the hand, is my favorite.  I don't want to look so busy that he doesn't try to show me or worse that I say not right now.  In some way these little moments are centering me.  In other ways the sound of him slamming doors in the mancave has me more than off center at the moment.  I really am loving the not so terrible twos right now.

I finally moved the portable crib out of the living room.  We had been throwing toys into it to make the room appear picked up but every time I looked at it I was a little stressed.  Packing it up and lugging toys to the playroom was a task but as soon as it was done I loved the extra space we have.  I have no idea why I didn't get around to that sooner but it for sure is the best task I have taken care of in the new year.

So there you have it the bright side of the New Year.

Resolution Reveal

I am coming off a crazy week at our house.  Christmas eve with both sides of our family at our house,  and a birthday party for the sweetest little 2 year old.  I love that our house has become the melting pot for our families.  We have had everyone here for both parties and it really means a lot to me to see them all getting along.  Not having to run around to accommodate this tradition or that one has made things a little simpler for me.  We definitely do still run around on holidays sometimes and when we do I always am so drained.

As 2015 is coming to a close I can't help but feel a little indifferent and so worn out.  My family has suffered loss, and really sad health news for my dad.  I got married.  Watched my son grow.  We are blessed to have traveled, and spent quality time with friends and family.  So many tears happy and sad have been shed this year.  I found my way back into church which brought on some tears of their own.

I am taking away a lot of growth this year.  Learning that the high road doesn't always yield the results I wanted, but I still felt better.  Realized when I said I was taking Leavitt to church I was really doing it more for myself since he just plays the whole time.  Accepting that life is part what you make it and part what happens to you.

In the spirit of merciless honesty I have sat down to write this about five times.  I don't totally know that I am ready to end this year.  I would like to think we are on to bigger and better things next year, but the truth is I don't know.  If we never have more than we do now, or do more than we do now I would be okay.  The real truth is that world events have made me want to stick close to home more.  Life has made me appreciate the here and now a lot more.  I would be lying if I said I don't daydream a little about a healthier, more exciting year but I also kind of don't.

So as I roll my way into next year I have one resolution.  I am going to drink one glass of hot lemon water every morning in 2016.  I have read great things about it and I am pretty sure I can handle this... as long as I keep lemons on the grocery list! Per usual I will let you all know how that goes so stay tuned on the results.

2016 also has some exciting and challenging things coming for the blog.  A couple collaborations in the works and some exciting new ideas I can not wait to share with you all.  Have a safe champagne sipping (or guzzling) New Years Eve!

Birthday Letter for Leavitt

My little Leavitt,
Two.  You are two.  Well probably if you are reading this you can adjust that last statement to like 20, but right now you are two.  My heart both breaks and swells writing this to you.  Knowing you are on your last leg of the baby tour.  Sooner, or maybe later, whenever you are ready I will potty train you so you won't need diapers anymore.  You will trade the sippy cups in for the water bottles you already fancy.  I will be a pitiful pile of mom love the day you head out for an adventure and don't need me to pack a big bag for you.  Or gasp, I don't get to come because it will be some boy adventure and your Dad will want you all to himself... OK that isn't happening I am coming with you

I just adore the little spitfire in you.  You are bold and confident.  Your confidence has me a smidge jealous,  I have never been as sure of myself as you are.  Please don't ever lose that, I promise to always and no matter what protect it.  Your sass on the other hand I am working to tone down a little bit.  Currently you will demand people "go away" or "get out".  You are learning how to get your space by pushing people away.  This new phase has me a little stressed.  I am sorry if are picking up on that.  You still have a sappy sweet side.  You cry for me when you are really upset, and give me long hugs.  When we are snuggled up at bed time, you rub my face, twirl my hair and give me little kisses.  I know you are mimicking the way I comfort you and that just makes me all warm and fuzzy.  You like it when your dad kisses me and always try to push our faces together.

You have an iPad.  I was furious when your father gave you that for Christmas last year.  We put a couple movies on there for traveling and your Aunt Barbara helped me put some of your cousins favorite puzzles on there for you.  You got so frustrated for the longest time about not being able to do the puzzles on your own.  In the last month you have really figured it all out and are able to open your apps and navigate them all on your own.  You also like all the Christmas movies I have been making you watch with me while we take a break from minions and toy story.... just kidding we have been watching those too.  I hope you are enjoying them because I can feel the screen time police giving me the mommy side eye while I write this.

Over Thanksgiving I took you three different places.  Fed you peanut butter on a spoon in a pantry sitting on the floor just to keep your from screaming during another forced dinner.  Then you went for your first helicopter ride.  Listen, your mom and dad are a couple of chickens.  We hate to fly, do not like to live on the edge and don't make a habit of doing things that are going to give us an adrenaline surge.  You wanted to go, so I went.  More than not wanting to die, I don't want to miss anything especially a first.  Lucky for me you lost your ever loving shit when you couldn't sit with me and we went back to the house.  After we were on the ground again you made it into my lap and I realized you did't care about me, it was all the buttons up front you wanted.  You immediately hit the start button and when I put your little feet back on the ground you gasped "oh wow!" such a guy.  Your great aunt Carol came to visit all the way from Idaho.  As we were leaving you ran across the living room to give her one last hug.  You have only met her two other times, but you know when someone loves you.  You also know when someone could use an extra hug.  I just love that about you.

I am not very crafty so we cook.  Like a lot.  You help me with at least two meals a day and we do a lot of baking.  I actually signed us up for a monthly subscription for We Cook.  We are on month two and get a new recipe every month to try.  You love to help so much I had to buy you some kid utensils so you could really control them.  We had a cooking day at Meme's this month.  You and your cousins and a couple friends decorated cookies and gingerbread houses.  You guys also decorated her floor with sprinkles.  I predict she will ask if I want to do it here next year.... I don't.  You and Russell are best buds, and love chasing each other.  You like to copy him and that makes me happy, he's a good big cousin.  You love Saylor but would prefer to love her not in my arms.  You'll get over your little jealous streak I hope.

You still have a terrible relationship with the word no.  You cry, big real tears when I say it even more so if you can tell I mean business.  I can already feel myself laughing to hold back my own tears.  It is only going to get worse for a while.  Terrible twos are a real thing, so I hear.  To be honest you've been working up to it lately and I have dug my heels in to fight the good fight.  I know this might mean I won't be your favorite person anymore, and that kills me a little.  So do me a favor if you're 21 reading this, take me out for a drink, I deserve it for braving twos with you.  I also just really love spending time with you.  Every adventure, every new phase is exciting and bittersweet.  Can't wait to see what this year brings us I love you to infinity and beyond.

XO Mommy

Dirty little details

                            

Photo: Danielle Brady Photography

Here are some quick and dirty details about Moi!  You're in for a real treat because I am in one of those moods where I would tell you anything.  Try not to fall off the edge of your seat.

I am very misunderstood.  Sarcasm is my first language, and I rarely pass up and opportunity to say something snarky if I think someone can handle it.  I would be mortified though if I ever truly hurt someones feelings.  If you are offended easily I am probably not the girl you want to hang out with.

I moved to Florida once for a short time because I said I was going to and when the girls I thought were coming with me bailed I went anyways.  Not for any reason other than I said I was so I did.  I had just broken up with my boyfriend and thought why the hell not.  I also talked to my now husband almost every single day I was there.  Thats where our acquaintance turned to real friendship.

I have an embarrassing amount of shoes.  When we built our house my husband surprised me with built in cabinets and a shoe wall, with french glass doors... we also have a chandelier we haven't had installed yet.  He is the Mr. Big to my Carrie.  If you don't get what I just said stop right here and go watch the Sex and the City movie.

My wedding shoes cost as much as my dress (minus the added accessories and veil).  I actually knew the shoes I wanted before I chose a dress.  Only a real shoe girl would understand.

I cry sometimes while I am alone.  Sometimes about something silly like the house not being clean, or I look at my sleeping baby and can't for the life of me figure out how I got so lucky.  I get to thinking about my Dad or my niece Charlee and it stops me dead in my tracks.  I am usually in my car when the emotions get the best of me.  Yet I am emotionally inappropriate.  I laugh when I am uncomfortable, it is my defense mechanism.

The ladies I call my friends, the people I would have lunch with alone are the most interesting, hilarious, authentic and original women I know.  If I would spend a couple hours of baby free time with you then you know you're in.  No one likes a knock off so if you can't come original then stay your ass home.

I hate to pay full price for anything.  If I buy something I usually have had my eye on it and stalk the sales.  My dream job would be a personal shopper.

I have 30,320 unread emails on my phone.  I don't even have a good excuse for how that happened it just did.

I felt my son was a boy from the moment I knew I was pregnant.  I was afraid to tell anyone that because I didn't want to be wrong or feel silly for being so sure.  In some weird way I just knew I was meant to be his Mama.

I get my love of fine china from my mom.  I always loved hers growing up and now I have my own for Christmas and everyday use.  Our everyday dishes have platinum on them which infuriates my husband because he can't microwave leftovers on them.  Not sorry.  And yes I will drink my $10 wine out of crystal please and thanks.

I used to use tanning beds like crazy.  So crazy I was unrecognizable.  A true tanorexic.  When I started working at the hospital when I was 21 I became obsessed with not getting skin cancer and haven't tanned since.  I get a screening done every year now but I still have so much regret for doing that to myself.

Phew, glad I got all those skeletons out of the closet.  Have a happy Christmas week everyone!! I am planning to hit up a barre class tomorrow and get a manicure to take the edge off because it is about to get cray around here, three parties in five days over here at the Varney house!!! Say a little prayer for me!

Christmas card wardrobe

Hey there! I got a few text messages from my lady gang about where our Christmas card wardrobe was from,  so I thought I would take the time and break it down for you.  I did not pay full price for anything we are wearing,  and no I am not just saying that because my husband sometimes reads this.  Most items are still on sale so you're in luck!!  I should also add that we incorporated things we already owned and loved.

On baby

sweater // boots // flannel // jeans // jacket

  

On Mama

skirt // necklace sold out similar // top // shoes

Make sure you sign up for the emails to get a discount on the skirt!

On Nick

sweater // pants // boots

Boots I found last year at TJ Maxx but you can find them still online at a ton of retailers. 

Per usual all these photos are Danielle Brady and you can find her here. 

Christmas family pictures

I will admit I needed a reason to buy this skirt.  I was in love with for over a year and it was just begging to be on our Christmas cards.  So not long after the wedding I put a bug in Danielle's ear that we needed a family session.  I showed her the skirt and then got to working on the guys outfits.  Other than obsessing over the clothes being true to everyone's style and the pops of red, I knew it had to be at Piper Mountain.  We get our tree there every year and usually go more than once if we can.  I also thought Leavitt would be obsessed running around there and it would create perfect smiles.  Yeah not so much.  He napped the whole way there so I expected a rested excited little boy.  What I got was an emotional roller coaster.  Danielle knows I adore the blooper pics and I almost put one on the back of the card for some humor but opted not to send $6 cards to the 50 people I sent them to.  I have a feeling Santa would call that my gift and I would be in mommy time out.  When Nick saw my outfit he told me I was out of my Christmas loving mind and should be going to the Nutcracker not a tree farm.  Now theres an idea.  Thank the lord for Danielle putting up with my good side antics mixed with my guys and their lack of model behavior.  I am not going to share the actual card because everyone is just now starting to receive them but I will tell you these pictures are equally as snazzy.  

Hope everyone is enjoying the holiday season as much as we are.  I just got home from a shopping trip and if there had been someone there taking pictures they would be a much less glam version of Leavitt Crying and me covered in sweat dragging Gap bags around.  Next year I am planning Leavitt a guys weekend with his Dad the same weekend I jet out of town with a bottle of wine in one hand and my credit card in the other... I paid my dues.